Blue Monday continues..

I had no knowledge of blue Monday until the tail end of last week, but when I heard the reasoning I could understand why it was named so. Apparently ‘blue Monday’ is meant to be the most depressing day of the year. It was, and somehow the sneaky fecker managed to weave itself into the tail end of last week and today as well. It’s legacy lives on. 

I did feel blue yesterday and there were various times throughout the day when the air was blue too. I’m blaming cigarettes, or to be more precise my lack of same. 

The first week and a half was challenging health ways as I battled headaches, nausea, coughing and cravings, only small ones though that tapped at my head like a lazy Woodpecker. 

By the middle of the second week despite the fact that my headaches were easing slightly I soon realised the honeymoon period was over as the Woodpecker struck with jackhammer like ferocity. I imagined it to be making pencils (who the feck knows why) that I then wanted to use to stab anyone who came within a 2ft radius of me. 

I had the rage and I had it bad, but thankfully I was able to contain it and make it to the end of the week without being arrested. 

Then came the tears. I mean ffs there is more going on here than Bertie and his bassets, I was experiencing all sorts! The 20 million symptom checkers I consulted were not far wrong in their estimations that quitting smoking could be the cause of feeling down in dumps. 

Ok so to be fair, there are other things going on here too. I’m finding work pretty stressful, the last two months seem to be catching up on me and I generally feel pretty useless. It’s a lot to be going on with and in hindsight perhaps trying to tackle everything all at once was not a great idea. 

That said, the ghost of nicotine past is really playing with my emotions. There is a good chance it is also playing with my sanity too, I mean you should have seen the look I got from  the girl at the train station when I asked her to blow the smoke from her cigarette in my face. Random I know, but it quelled the craving and calmed my homicidal tendencies so it was well worth it!

I shall tame this monster, we’ve been battling head on now for 18 days, 21 hours, 7 minutes and 41 seconds, not that I’m counting. It’s definitely a struggle, but I am determined to give it my best shot. 

Cold turkey was always something I really looked forward to after Christmas, it’s lovely in a sandwich with a little lettuce and potato salad, now though it has new meaning. It means I have to carry on with this quest without the assistance of patches, gum or any other type of nicotine supplement. Why I hear you ask (if you’re nosey), well because I never want to go through this kind of cold turkey ever again.

2017 is the year and I’ve started step one! When I figure out what comes next I’ll let you know. I didn’t even realise until today I was on a ladder.

Wish me luck, I bloody well need it!

Please note no persons or pencils were harmed in the making of this post…well, not yet anyway! 

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45 thoughts on “Blue Monday continues..

  1. You’re doing a fabulous job. At the tail end of my smoking habit I was rolling my own because it gave me more control over what was in my cigarettes, vs the chemical cocktail you’d find in store-bought smokes. I had tapered down to the point where I was just smoking a few a day so the aftereffects weren’t so bad for me but I promise you that by this time next year you’ll feel so much better if you stick with it. I was thinking the cold-like symptoms too could have been your sinuses sort of clearing out, and possibly a side-effect of going cold turkey on all the additives in commercial coffin nails. Positive thoughts and crossy-fingers coming your way from the great plains of North America!

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  2. Juls you are a hero or is that heroine…..its no mean feat you are attempting and I take my hat (If I had one on) off to you….take care of you and keep quelling those desires to kill, stab and maim anyone around you and that includes your beloved fathership….its a tough gig to conqueror and I admire your determination….go for it….

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  3. I’m sorry, but I’m laughing …. badly …. because ….wtf??? woodpeckers and pencils??? but it’s okay, it doesn’t need to make sense given your determination ….. so yeah, okay, go suck on a popsicle or something, but not for too long …. ice cream headaches are equally noxious …..

    and cheering you on from my corner of the world …. you give it your best ….. “rah rah rah” shaking my pom-poms just long enough to rally for you …. now excuse me, must go slip under my rock.

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      • LOL … yeah, well, bring on the weird anyhow ….. whatever works …. especially now …. and even when things level off and turn the corner …. weird is wonderful :D

        my pom-pom’s thank you from the tips and tops and fluffy roundness of the mariachi band ;)

        keep at it …. don’t give up …. stick with it ….. you can and will get through this …. and hey, maybe I’ll slip into a zone and give it a go myself ….. must still muse on this …. but I’m seriously seriously considering it ….. I’ll let you know ….

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      • Don’t do it till you’re ready, I wanted to give up smoking because I no longer enjoyed it, but man, had I known what was in store for me I’m not sure I’d have managed it lol
        It is getting easier though, I only think about stabbing people once a day now :p

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      • LOL@the stabbing fantasy …. been there too …. I’ve quit before, so know of the symptoms and crazy that comes with it …. but hang in there …. you’re doing great …. and you can do it …… sending you tons of “rah rah” thoughts ….. and just keep on finding the small ways to get you through … ultimately, it’s often the small things that seem to help the most ….. :)

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  4. Yeah, yesterday was complete crap for me too. Today was better, but I’m still blue too. Be glad once the blue is gone and I hope it quickly goes from you. I’d never want anyone to feel the way I do.

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  5. I smoked quite a bit with a patch on, so I knew that didn’t work. I finally did it by slowly reducing the amount of cigarettes per day. I think everyone has their own way of dealing with it. I wish you luck!!

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    • I was kind of lucky in that regard I guess, I only smoked maybe 20 a week, but I think because of that I fooled myself into thinking I was going to have a much easier time than everyone else. Wrong! Gunk is still gunk regardless of how much or how little there is lol
      Thank you for the good luck wishes, I will need them :)

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  6. Hang in there, it gets easier. I went through all this a few years back. My journey was in 3’s; 3 days for the nicotine to get out of my system, 3 weeks for the cravings to subside, 3 months before I started feeling better, 3 years to be at least as healthy as a non-smoker.

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    • 3 months, oh no no no, how could you tell me that, she says hanging onto the side of her desk to keep from sliding down the slippery slope! You cruel cruel man lol
      No I can quite understand, it’s amazing how long it takes for some of the side effects of smoking to disappear. My app says 10 years till I am as healthyish as a non smoker lol

      Liked by 1 person

    • Aww thanks so much for including me, but I will have to politely decline playing along. I stopped doing then a couple of years ago when as a result Akismet thought I was a serial spammer and relegated all my comments to people’s trash cans.
      Actually, on thinking about it now, maybe my comments were just rubbish!
      Well deserved award for you though :) and thank you for thinking of me.

      Liked by 1 person

  7. Yeah, you! And also, thank you for helping me understand the proper use of “feckin.” I plan to astound my Minnesota colleagues and friends with heavy use of the term in future. Though I wonder if my 2nd grader will suddenly be sent to the principal’s office for said usage- I’m thinking it’s not technically a swear in the US, and therefore permissible. Either way, I’m a newcomer to your blog, and I love it!

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    • You’re welcome, I do love passing on Northern Irishisms, nearly everyone I meet picks up on both the feckin and eejit and it’s so great hearing them in different accents lol

      Thanks for stopping by and I am glad you found me, hope you don’t me tagging along behind you either.

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