Too many balls, not a lot of juggling!

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There has been very little free time this past week. Every time I sat down to write something all the ideas I had went flooding out instead of flooding in.

I feel a little bit over whelmed, this last month or so has been crazy busy and I always feel like I am in a higher than normal state of stress, visitors, new job, organising, planning, shopping, cooking, cleaning, washing and ironing, if this were a merry go round I would already have jumped by now.

I suppose the main factor behind the whole thing is that everything happened all at once. I don’t feel settled at work and that appears to be having a domino effect on everything else. No matter how home life was, work was always a constant, I knew my job, I could do my job and I happily worked away in the background. The new job is a little more in the fore front and last week I felt like a tennis player in front of one of those machines that serves the ball at a million miles an hour, only it had gone haywire and there were balls being fired at me all roads and directions. It would appear I am a shit juggler!

I’ve said over and over this week that I am not cut out for this job, and I firmly believe that. I am a terrible decision maker, I dither and I lose valuable hours and minutes checking and double checking myself and then still worrying about the finer points. I know I am new in the job, and I know the chances are it will get better, or let me rephrase that, I will get better, but this period in between stupid and smart is knocking lumps out of my already battered self confidence. I hate not knowing what I am doing, it feels like failure is smacking me repeatedly about the face.

I would love just one weekend where I didn’t have to worry about anyone else but myself. Thing is though, despite what I say I would still worry. I’d love for other people in my house to realise that they can lift things off the floor, wipe benches, clean up talcum powder that clearly threw itself all over the bathroom and perhaps even put a wash on sometimes. My Dad is good at helping but sometimes it’s the small things that irk the most.

I’m tired, because sometimes my brain will not shut down enough to enable me to relax, which means I stay up until stupid o’clock to make sure that I actually sleep when my head hits the pillow. Dad’s been having the same issues, I hear him pacing the floors as well. He probably needs a break more than me.

I know things in work will even out and I will become more settled, but this was one of the reasons why if I had been given the choice of taking the job, I would probably have refused. I just don’t need the additional stress right now, there is no where to escape from it. Thank goodness for this blog and you guys.

So my mantra for this week is don’t stress the small things, try to make decisions and have faith that there is light at the end of the tunnel and remember if all else fails I can always hide under the desk until Friday! :)

Look out for the new Cartoon Craziness Challenge theme tomorrow eejits and thank you for all your participation so far!

P.s I’m ok honest, I just needed to vent, look I feel better already, I’m smilin!

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39 thoughts on “Too many balls, not a lot of juggling!

  1. I didn’t like this because I like the stress that you’re under or the fact that you feel so overwhelmed, but I do like the fact that you felt free enough to vent and to put the stuff that’s worrying you right out on the table. We’ve all been there a time or six, but it’s no fun when you’re in the midst of it and your self-esteem is taking a major hit.

    You do have a support team here. I know it’s meant the world to me over the last few weeks to know that there are people here who really care and who “get it” when we’re frustrated and hanging on by a thread.

    Anytime you need venting space, we’re here! :-)

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  2. Venting is good, so is acknowledging that we can’t actually do everything perfectly all the time. But damn, does that shit suck. Hang in there honey, things are bound to get better eventually. Right? ;)

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  3. Well I’m glad that now you’re smiling. Hang in there — and you know what — stop and breathe — fer feck’s sake.

    Seriously, Juls, take a breath or two or 70 and stop. Let go of the small shite — just let it be so that you can give yourself a much needed break – or you will end up on the caboose side of crazy.

    Hugs to you Eejit — you are wonderful and things will settle.

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    • I will learn to pace myself and realise that everything cannot be done right there and then in that second. I need to go easy on myself. I might be a little rough around the edges now, but hopefully soon I will be as smooth as silk :)

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      • I have ever faith and confidence in you —-changes, especially such big ones, and what with all the other stuff with the mothership etc. is rough. But you’ll be the discerning type and before you know it, all those balls will be out of your hands ;)

        (honestly, woman, where do you find the time to monkey around with so many – er – balls? No wonder you’re so tired. ;) )

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  4. Hey, you just hang in there….I’m in the initial throes of our move here and oh, it’s rough when there’s no comfort zone. OMG. But you know, I keep telling myself just do one thing and that will leave room for one more thing to get done and soon enough there will be routine and comfort. Same with you….get good at one thing and then move to the next. Baby step it.

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    • I like that idea and will indeed try to put it into practice. Learn one thing at a time and stop trying to do everything all at once, that probably is part of my problem. Thank you :) Hope all goes well with your move too!

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  5. I have faith in you, Juls. I know you’re good enough, you’re smart enough, and gosh darn it others have faith in you too. It’s Friday, so come out and try to enjoy the weekend; Surfer Rob’s got your back!

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