Thank goodness for post scheduling, because without it this week it’s unlikely there would have been anything from me. And before you get your knickers in a twist I know I only scheduled one, but that’s 100% better than none.
It’s been a funny, weird and strange month and I am having trouble trying to make sense of it all. I feel like I have been turned upside down, tipped out and then put together the wrong may. I’m still me, I’m just not quite the same as I was before.
I hate change and it’s takes me a little while to adjust to anything that is not the norm. Where home life is concerned we need to keep things as routine as possible, it’s the easiest way to avoid arguments, and it seems to have spilled into my life as well. When I heard about the new job I was torn as to how I felt, in my heart of hearts I knew that I was in a rut and needed a change, but if the truth be told I didn’t want the stress of having to learn something new. I get enough stress on a daily basis dealing with the Mothership.
I’m sure I’ll find my feet, I always do. Four weeks in and if you were to ask me how I was getting on, I would tell you that it’s 50/50. I’m struggling with the constant stream of work that comes my way because I hate being in the position where I don’t know what I have to do with something. It’s disconcerting going from knowing a job inside out to not knowing it at all. I want to learn everything yesterday, but I am smart enough to know that is not possible. I’ve never done a job like this before, but I forget that I had never done any of the other jobs before either and I had to learn them too.
The other half of me feels alive, and challenged and eager to get stuck in. For the first time in a long time I look forward to going to work and the days fly by because concentration eats away at the minutes and the hours. I have a lot of learning to do and I am sure I will make many mistakes but hopefully I will get there.
There have been a lot of ups and downs.
Monday came, and my friend rang to tell me his Dog had passed away. I loved that dog. He always came to greet me when I went to visit, lay at my feet when I worked at the computer, stood guard with me when I hid behind the garage for a smoke and constantly nudged my bad leg, even though I put my good one forward, but I didn’t mind because he was my chum.
I stood in my office and cried, because that was one more thing that had changed and it was one thing too many. I cried for Casey, the loss of my old job, my lack of experience in the new one and just life in general. Clearly that was what I needed, because after standing in my new office which doesn’t feel like mine, dressed in clothes that make me feel uncomfortable, crying my lamps , I felt calm.
I’m on a rollercoaster and all I can do is hang on and hope for the best!
Onwards and Upwards!
RIP Casey, you were this womans best four legged furry friend and it won’t be the same without you!
P.s Mama I have NOT forgotten about my 7 weeks of Weird it will be done :)