The Joys of Modern Travel – Part 6!

There are four seats just inside the door of the train labeled for pregnant ladies and possibly disabled persons. I’ve been looking at the little drawing for days and am having trouble figuring out exactly what it is, although there is no doubt about the pregnancy one, unless of course it’s for someone with a beer belly and I am totally mistaken.

Train SignsUsually I avail of one of these seats, they have a little more leg room for the days when Alien leg decides she does not want to bend!  I do of course move should someone more deserving come along!

This morning I was beaten to it by a couple who were obviously in the middle of a marital spat as they opted not to sit together, but take one set of two each. Fair enough thinks I, they are older and more deserving so I pottered on and managed to shoe horn myself into one of the smaller ones.

It took a minute or two coaching an appropriate bend out of Little Miss Awkward but eventually I got settled and pulled out the tablet to avail of the excellent free WIFI services!

Just as I was about to open up my WordPress Reader and get knuckled into the morning offerings the conductor says “Sorry folks, I have to ask you to move into the next carriage. We have school children coming aboard and we need to seat them all together”. I swore inwardly. Somehow I managed to heave myself back up, bones a creaking and moved down a little asking the conductor if I was allowed to sit in the chairs at the bottom of the carriage as there were still some seats available. Thankfully he said yes, although that may have had a lot to do with the stricken look on my face.

I like kids. They are cute, funny little individuals, who make you smile.

I don’t however  like 50 of the wee beggars all at once, screaming at the top of their voices because they are super excited about being on a train. At one point I was going to stand up and start singing “The Wheels on the Bus Go Round and Round” in a bid to get them to join in and hopefully stop the wailing. Instead I stuck in headphones and jacked up the volume. They were only going two stops anyway.

The journey continued. Music blaring. Kids blaring. Headache starting.

Two stops later we’re approaching the station where the kids are due to depart and I see them lined up on the platform, the most feared group to travel on the railways, the ones who make even the conductors quake in their steel toe capped boots…..The Gangsta Granny Brigade!!

Armed with their free passes, red lipstick and deadly handbags they line the platform and flatten anyone within zimmer frame distance.

Get out of Grandma's way or pay the price!
Get out of Grandma’s way or pay the price!

If you’ve read my blog before you will remember in Part 4 , I had a mini rant about people barging on and off trains. The Gangsta Grannies are the worst offenders. They didn’t just get old, they got fiesty and they are prepared to fight for the right to enter trains before everyone else has had a chance to exit. I’ve seen a fair few young men and women too for that matter get a good skelp with a handbag.

So the teachers are trying to get everyone organised to get off. The kids are jumping up and down squealing with excitement. The grannies are flailing their handbags around like human windmills and knocking kids awry like pins in a bowling alley and the conductor is descending the stairs to the depths of despair. It was all pretty good fun actually, and evil me, it brought a smile to my face!

Eventually everything got sorted and I have to say my heart did melt a little at the sight of all the kids in a line with their colourful little waterproof coats and wellie boots, all smiles and waving at us as we left them behind.

I didn’t listen to anymore songs after that on the old Ipod. I was to busy silently chuckling, while listening to the conductor rant about the Gangsta Grannies and how they would mow down anyone in their path.

He did however make a valid point, if the younger generation were to barge on through like that the GG’s would be the first to complain!

Respect has to be earned!

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